Jeremiah Eyrebourne

I've had this draft kicking around for a while. I need to improve the grammer and sexy-up the fight scenes a little but at any rate here it is the first (of hopefully many) adventure of Jeremiah Eyrebourne. Rohan if you'd be so nice to do some illusrations for it that'd be cool then I can fix it up and send it into ET.

Jeremiah Eyrebourne and the Sky Pirates of the Sahara

The sky was quiet and the sun was setting over the deserts of the Sahara. A thin wisp of cloud floated over the uninhabited ground below. This was a popular trade route for commercial airships travelling between the colonies of North and South Africa and it was just such an airship that Elric Blackhorn was looking for. Elric sat sipping an iced tea and whisky in the shade of his own airship a p3-20 Sky-Viper. It was small and nimble, as far as airships went, carried a crew of six and was a favourite of pirates, smugglers and general vagabonds the world over. Elric didn’t like to think of himself as a regular pirate, his ancestors had been Norse warriors and so he felt he was more of a latter day viking. Raping and pillaging were in his blood, in his soul, it would be wrong of him to deny that. It was as he was polishing off his second iced tea with whisky that the sun dipped down past the horizon and he saw the blinking lights of a tradeship.

Jeremiah Eyrebourne was enjoying make-and-mend time in his customary fashion, with a bottle of Pinot Noir, a scratchy Debussy record playing on the phonograph, and a whittling blade in his hand. Today he was carving a lion. He’d never seen a real lion, lions had died about hundreds of years ago but he had a book with pictures of them. The lion carving would probably be part of a chess set Jeremiah was building. Each piece was a different exotic and extinct animal, elephants for rooks, kangaroos for knights, penguins for pawns. The lion would be the king piece. There was a dull thudding noise somewhere. Jeremiah smiled, put down his carving and took up his gun.

It was now full night, which made boarding harder, but it did mean they had a better chance of doing so undetected. Elric would be last to slide down the grappling hook that stretched between the sky-viper and the tradeship below. From there they’d enter through the top hatch, over power any guards, tie up the crew, steal everything of value, kidnap anyone likely to catch a fair price at the slave markets, then torch the ship and watch it sail into the sands below. Elric’s heart sung in anticipation as he took the rope in hand, leapt of his ship and fell upon his prey like a leopard. As he hit the roof he drew out his mechanised pistol. It resembled an oversized revolver but where the chamber should have been was a clockwork mechanism that drew rounds from an ammo belt leading from his backpack. He checked the pistol cause these things were notorious for jamming if you weren’t careful. Elric’s first mate scuttled over to him
‘Top hatch is open we’re ready to board on your order’
Elric nodded and moved slowly and carefully to the open hatch. The air was whipping around with mute frenzy and one small slip could mean a very far fall down. Elric looked through the hatch. It was dark and empty, just like he’d expected, there wasn’t much call for anyone to be in the balloon section of an airship. With a sick smile he dropped down into the dark below.

Smithy was pounding away in one of the engine rooms with a hydrospanner when he heard talking. It was muffled and barely audible over the hiss of steam and the grind of gears but it was there. Carefully he raised his hydrospanner like a club, walked to the door and pressed his ear against it’s cool metal. Nothing. He decided that he had finally gone mad and walked to the corner for a sit down and a cigarette. Suddenly the door blew in off its hinges and Smithy was confronted by a bearded man in scruffy clothes wielding an overly large, overly complicated firearm.
‘Make no movements, make no sounds, and we won’t have to kill you’
At that moment Smithy was only happy to oblige.

Jeremiah was hiding in the rafters of the cargo hold. Two of the intruders were routinely checking the few packing crates that were spread out in the nearly empty room. One of the men carried a crowbar and wore a red scarf tied round his head the other carried a Mauser and sported an eye patch. The one with the crowbar broke open a crate.
‘It’s empty just like the last’
‘What kind of cargo ship is this?’
Suddenly Jeremiah leapt down, his boot smacking the skull of the first man, the other raised his pistol but got a standard issue Calvary sabre in the stomach for his troubles. Jeremiah looked the man sternly in the face.
‘Nice eye patch did it come with a parrot?’
With that Jeremiah wrenched the blade from the man’s body and blood gushed out onto the metal floor.

Elric was happy, he was in the Ships Bridge with two of his men flanking his sides, and the crew we’re tied and gagged. Everything was going fine, he hadn’t even had to fire a shot, he mused tonight is going to be good. Stalking over to the observation window, the night sky was black and beautiful, Elric couldn’t help but imagine the whores and booze he’d buy with tonight’s plunder. Yes tonight is going to be good indeed. Behind him Elric heard a man cough, he turned around and saw his first mate with a worried expression on his face. A man in an old dusty serviceman’s great coat, wielding a bloody sabre stood behind the first mate with a pistol pointed at his head.
‘You picked the wrong ship to plunder Elric’
Elric didn’t bother to wonder how this stranger knew his name he just raised his pistol at the man and opened fire.
Boom-Chunk-Boom-Chunk-Boom-Chunk
The mechanised pistol exploded, splattered and vomited bullets across the room. Most of them stuck the first mate as the stranger used him as a shield. With a flash the stranger had put a bullet in the skull of one of Elric’s men then whipped round and swept the other’s legs from under him. With orgiastic rage he plunged the blade into the helpless pirate’s chest.
Boom-Chunk-Boom-Chunk-Boom-Chunk
Elric’s pistol still filled the air with heavy brutal lead but they harmlessly impacted into metal walls, glass windows or navigation controls. None hit the lithe and deadly stranger. The man dived rolled towards Elric and sliced through his pistol’s ammo belt with a deft stroke. The pistol soon ran dry and Elric was filled horror. The man gave him a swift upper cut with the hilt of his sabre, stood above his defeated foe and spoke.
‘Allow me to introduce myself, Jeremiah Eyrebourne is the name, bounty hunting’s the game. It may please you to know that you’ve acquired quite a price on your head.’
Just then the mechanic from the engine room plodded into the room. Jeremiah addressed him with out taking his eyes of Elric.
‘Smithy free Dawn and Michael, then tie up our friend here, Michael check to see if there are any other people lurking around on board and if you find some kill them. Dawn set a course for the nearest port so we can get paid.’
Then Jeremiah stared at Elric and thought for a moment.
‘Oh and Michael… polish up the silverware we’re having steak for dinner.’